Okay, so I don’t mind taking a fifth final within two weeks, but when the only purpose of this test is to figure out if I am able to memorize over forty different formulas, then you really piss me off. And we all know what happens when Trisha gets pissed off.. hold onto your chairs people!…. She…writes about it with her cynical attitude.

So this really isn’t what provoked me with this rant, but more like the whole “attitude” people are leaving high school with. You’d think that seniors would graduate with like a .01% increase in maturity, but alas, it isn’t enough. Here’s my mathematical conclusion to it all:

They’re better off just being plain stupid. What’s occurred during this miraculous .01% increase? Well, we can’t forget the famous group of idiots who were sitting in a car parked in front of the school, smoking weed on National Weed Day, getting caught and suspended. No no, this is far better. We have the traditional “senior prank” occasion coming up, as well as the “tons of beer and alcohol” they “say” they’re sneaking into their limo during prom night.

Do you know what senior prank was last year? Some idiot decided that putting laxatives in the ketchup at lunch would be funny. Luckily, the administration found out about it and a few seniors got expelled from school, days away from graduation. I mean how stupid can you get?

I may not have mentioned it here, but for a couple of months now I made it my final decision that I will not be attending my prom. Even recently I decided not to bother with getting a yearbook or go to the “yearbook” signing for that matter. None of you idiots are worthy enough to sign my yearbook, in fact, I should be signing all of your books because I’m as amazing as it gets. How can you go to bed at night without my sick signature?

So as always, days before graduation, everyone is asking you where you’re going to college, who you’re going to prom with, asking if you’re going to the yearbook signing, etc. If they’re not bragging about how they’ve managed to have a borderline average, yet get accepted to a top school because of their amazing SAT score, they’re busy shrieking at me in disgust for my lack of “school spirit.” Well gee, I’m sorry that I’m not paying hundreds of dollars worth for my dress, my hair, my nails, a limo, and a $155 prom ticket, all for just two lowsy hours. And what will I be doing during those hours? Nothing. I’ll be sitting down at a table, sulking, listening to the shitty music the seniors voted on listening to, watching how the majority of the girls’ dates will huddle in a corner, acting all tough in their tuxedos, discussing amongst themselves who the best looking chick is. Of course, the girl who manages to walk in with the dress that shows the most revealing cleavage, is short, is so tight she’s waddling like a fat penguin, and manages to walk in 5-inch long heels. Hell, even I would applaud her because of her pathetic effort to manage to look like a whore.

I don’t need to sit there and have friends of friends come up to me, have an incredibly wide smile saying, “Oh my god! You look so pretty!” When they’re really saying, “Oh my god! You look so ugly! I look so much better than you! But I’m smiling so much at you because I pity you.” You want to know why I rule? It’s because I don’t need hundreds of dollars worth of accessories, clothing, and makeup to make me look pretty or “beautiful.” You’re all pathetic.

Then I have the other group of idiots tell me the whole point of prom is “the after-party.” Ooohhh Ahhhhh… Do you know what the after party really is? It involves a bunch of immature seniors, who think it’ll be so “cool” to go the city in the middle of night, get into a club, party, get drunk, and then at 5 AM in the morning (after a precise 347 missed calls from your parents), you get into a car to go home and one of three things might happen:

• You’re driving while intoxicated, it’s 5 AM, you’re tired, you crash, all your friends die except you. You live with this guilt for the rest of your miserable life.
• You’re driving while intoxicated, you get pulled over, everyone in the car gets busted, you get arrested for a DWI and your dad’s porsche that you were driving gets impounded.
• You all manage to get home safely, but the excessive vomiting, and slurring of speech gives it away. Your parents make your life miserable.

Why do I have to be born into a generation of dumbasses? Why?!

So there, I’m not going to prom, stop fucking yapping at me about it, the only thing you’re accomplishing is burning calories because you talk too much crap. After contemplating with my family about what I’d be doing instead (that includes going to the city with Terry to have dinner, going to a play, doing something with Terry and the family), we decided on something simple.

We’ll do nothing.

We’ll be doing the simplest shit ever and have a better time than you. While you’re at the prom crying about how much money you spent over nothing, or that your intoxicated “BF” vomitted all over your tux that you rented, Terry and I will be at home, watching some awesome movies, playing video games, and eating massive junk food, from chips to cookies. Why do we rule? Because:

• Costs a total of $0.00 (no dresses, tuxes, fees)
• The food is 100 times better and costs no more than $15 (depending on what type of junk food)
• Is a million times more fun
• Is 100% safe
• All we require is sweat pants and a T-shirt and a ponytail, nothing fancy.
• No jerks allowed. Therefore you’re guaranteed to have as much fun as possible.

EDIT: After prom night, a large number of people told me that prom night was boring and a waste of time. I rule so hard.